| As a manager or supervisor, you routinely
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| | separating your personal role with others
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| have to handle difficult issues or
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| | from your role as their manager. As a
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| interactions. You may have to give a
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| | fellow worker and even friend, you may
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| negative evaluation, or be direct and
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| | sympathize or even feel the same way as
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| autocratic in telling someone how to do
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| | your subordinates. But your role as
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| their job, or talk to a subordinate who
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| | manager may require you to take certain
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| is angry and critical. In these and other
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| | actions or have certain expectations of
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| sensitive situations, your choice of
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| | others that they (and you) may not be
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| words can make an enormous difference in
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| | comfortable with. Referring to that
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| how your communication is received and
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| | responsibility as "wearing my Manager's
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| even understood.
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| | hat" can make it easier for you to be
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| Words do indeed paint pictures. So, here
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| | confident in fulfilling your
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| are seven ordinary, everyday phrases that
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| | responsibilities, and easier for others
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| can be useful in these delicate
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| | to accept your actions as their manager.
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| situations:
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| | 5. "Is there anything else you have to
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| 1. "Does anyone else feel the same way?"
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| | say?" Your position as a Manager often
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| Often in a staff meeting, one person will
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| | requires you to hear out others'
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| bring up an idea or an observation or a
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| | problems, concerns, or other issues.
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| criticism. The tendency is to want to
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| | These may be uncomfortable, difficult,
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| respond directly to that person. However,
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| | problematic, unpleasant, or things you
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| it is extremely important to keep the
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| | already know about. You may not want to
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| interaction from becoming a one-on-one
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| | hear all of it, or you may already know
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| discussion (or argument). So, ask if
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| | about it. The tendency is to say "I know
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| anyone else feels the same way. You might
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| | about it already," or something else that
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| want to deal with this very differently
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| | indicates that you don't want to listen.
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| if it is just this one person or it is
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| | But it is usually a good idea to hear the
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| half the staff who feels the same way.
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| | person out. This way you not only make
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| Also, your question will likely encourage
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| | sure that you are hearing everything you
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| others who may not agree to chime in, and
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| | need to know, but that you are also
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| it is more likely to get resolved
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| | sending a message that you are willing to
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| effectively by the team.
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| | listen.
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| 2. "Tell me about..." Maybe there is a
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| | 6. "May I make a suggestion?" Sometimes
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| problem, a situation, or a project that
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| | your job requires you to tell others what
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| you want to know more about. Or maybe
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| | to do. Sometimes you don't have that
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| something happened that you need to know
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| | power, but you want to give some
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| about. Often the most effective way to
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| | direction based on your expertise and
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| encourage others to talk about it is with
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| | experience. If you already have the
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| a general, open-ended comment such as,
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| | authority, you may not want to act in an
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| "Tell me about this." Then, depending on
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| | overly autocratic manner. If you don't
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| how others respond, you can decide how to
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| | have the authority, you still may want
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| follow up.
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| | the person to take your comments
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| 3. "I like this [about your ideas or
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| | seriously. In either case, "May I make a
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| actions], but here's the problem..." If
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| | suggestion?" is an effective way to get
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| you are going to give a criticism, it's
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| | your point across.
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| often a good idea to balance it with
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| | 7. "Nice work." The history of Psychology
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| something positive first. That helps to
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| | tells us that positive feedback is the
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| keep the relationship basically positive,
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| | best motivator. And, considering that
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| and also makes it more likely that the
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| | most people do not receive nearly enough
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| subordinate will listen and accept the
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| | praise in all aspects of their lives, it
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| criticism.
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| | is important to give credit where credit
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| 4. "I see what you mean, but wearing my
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| | is due whenever appropriate. "Nice work"
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| Manager's hat,..." The concept of
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| | is a simple and effective way to do this.
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| "wearing hats" is often very useful in
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