Confessions of a Reformed Manager: Seven principles for becoming a good manager

Another one walked out the door. With him,had the tools, training, encouragement and trust
$25,000 in recruitment fees, $3,000 in relocationthey needed. By serving them, I met my goals.
expenses and a $31,000 learning curve wentGood managers manage the whole person. I used
down the drain. Clients became uneasy, employeeto look on my employees as machines, seeing
morale suffered and my firm's ability to recruitthem only as a means to get the job done
top talent was negatively impacted.instead of the people they were. When I began
My management style was costing my firmto look at the whole person, I began to become a
money and it was exacting an emotional toll ongood manager.
me. Taking each departure personally, I wasBeing a good manager doesn't mean liking every
beginning to feel like a failure.employee. While I have not liked every person I
Like so many young managers, I had beenhave managed, I have cared about each one.
bumped up into management because I was aAs managers, it is important to recognize we
good producer. No one had considered thatcannot separate our employees' work lives from
production and management require two differenttheir personal ones anymore than we can
skill sets, and that those skill sets are often atseparate our own.
odds with one another.I also learned how to utilize employees' strengths
I wanted to be a good manager. I tookand support their weaknesses. No employee has it
management courses, read a plethora of self-helpall. Our job as managers is to create personalized
books and hired a management coach, but I stillenvironments for employees in which they can
hadn't hit on the right formula for management.thrive.
Totally ill equipped for my new role, I continued toYears ago, I hired a senior consultant who was
make mistake after mistake.one of the most creative people I knew and had
It wasn't until I looked at myself that I got it.a Rolodex as large as a car tire. Still, she could not
First, I had tried to control my employees. Then, Imanage traditional public relations accounts.
had tried to motivate them, but only when IAfter trial and error, she became "a marketing
sought to inspire them did I become a goodmatchmaker" setting up strategic meetings
manager. It was a principle so simple that I hadbetween companies sharing similar marketing
missed it.objectives. Her division quickly became one of the
Good management is not built upon behavioragency's most profitable, and she remained a loyal
modification, manipulation ormotivation; it isemployee.
grounded in intention. Instead of searching for theGood managers thrive on feedback. Key to
right combination of words and actions to producebecoming a good manager is 360-degree
desired behaviors, I began to put my employees'feedback. Good managers put ego aside, ask for
needs first and truly care about them as people.constructive feedback and act upon it. One of the
Together we worked toward the company'sworse things a manager can do is ask for
goals while meeting our individual needs.feedback and not act upon it.
Good management is not linear. Like theAt my old firm, employees filled out "How Am I
imagination, it is fluid, flexible and creative. While IDoing?" surveys on their managers. To encourage
found no set rules to becoming a good manager,candid feedback, responses were confidential and
I did discover seven principles that helped mecompiled by an outside source.
grow into management.From the feedback, managers were encouraged
Good managers know themselves. Goodto select no more than three areas for
managers know their strengths and weaknesses,improvement, develop a plan, and share that plan
and they understand their management styles.with their employees.
A clue to identifying our management styles canGood managers constantly check in with their
be found by examining our relationships with ourintentions. Good managers focus on intentions
parents. Once I looked at my relationship with myover outcomes.
father, I discovered why my employees wereOne employee had been with the firm for close
unhappy. I had adopted his impersonal,to seven years. We changed her job description
authoritarian style.several times to present new challenges and
Good managers share themselves, as well ascapitalize on her strengths. But as the agency
their knowledge. When I train executives inmatured, it became apparent we no longer had a
presentation skills, I encourage them to beplace for her.
themselves. The best presenters are those whoOver lunch, I learned she was unhappy, and
share their souls with their audiences, and goodalthough she wanted to move on, she was afraid.
managers are no different.That afternoon, we mapped out a plan that made
Sharing our souls does not mean becoming closesense for her and for the agency, set a
intimate friends with those we manage. It doescompletion goal of three months, and agreed to
mean, however, allowing employees access to ourmeet periodically.
lives. Employees want to know their managers asToday, she is the director of marketing for a
people, too.large professional service firm. She is happy and
Share yourself, but don't share your moods.challenged and looks back on her agency days
Employees crave consistency and calm fromfondly.
managers, especially in crises.When good managers make mistakes, they
At no time do managers show their true colorscorrect them fast. Even with the right intentions,
more than in crisis. I ran red. Adrenaline surgedwe all make hiring mistakes. When we do, we
through my blood when faced with crisis. While Ineed to correct them fast. Again, if our intention
was super-productive, I put the office in ais pure, we can make this transition humanely and
hyper-frenzy. By staying grounded, I could get aswith a minimum of disruption to the operation.
much done without electrifying the office.Few are born great managers. But these seven
Good management is servant leadership. At itsprinciples -- know yourself, share yourself,
simplest, servant leadership recognizes greatpractice servant leadership, manage the whole
leaders are humble servants. Servant leadersperson, thrive on feedback, check in with your
manage from the soul and not the ego.intentions, and correct mistakes fast -- helped me
My job was not to do the job, but to get the jobto become a better one.
done right and that meant ensuring my people