| Express your thoughts clearly:
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| | you, discipline yourself to postpone
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| To be effective in interpersonal
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| | evaluation until after you have
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| communication, organize your thoughts.
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| | demonstrated that you fully understand
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| Think through what you plan to say before
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| | the idea.
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| you say it. Choose the appropriate words
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| | Avoid becoming hostile when another
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| that will best communicate these
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| | person's views differ from your own:
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| thoughts, and speak in the language of
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| | Employees learn a great deal about their
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| the listener. Strive for utmost clarity.
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| | manager on the basis of how the manager
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| Be willing to express your feelings:
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| | responds to opposing views. (And body
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| Those people who are able to express
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| | language speaks louder than words.) If
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| their feelings are more likely to be
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| | the manager appears threatened or
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| effective communicators than those who
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| | distressed whenever an employee offers an
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| are not. This does not mean an
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| | opposing view, the employees in all
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| irresponsible venting of emotions;
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| | likelihood will be reluctant to challenge
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| rather, it means expression of feelings
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| | the manager in the future. As a
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| tempered with responsibility. If you are
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| | consequence, the manager's ideas may go
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| unable or unwilling to express your
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| | untested, and some potentially good ideas
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| feelings, others may view you as bland.
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| | may never be considered. Avoid becoming
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| Your people want to know where you are
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| | hostile to opposing views. Try to
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| coming from. Tell them! Move beyond
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| | understand the other person's views: what
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| merely exchanging data and information.
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| | they mean, how they came about, and why
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| Enrich your communication with a clear
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| | the person supports these particular
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| expression of your feelings about the
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| | views. Then, when appropriate, try to
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| issues at hand.
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| | incorporate these views into your own
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| Put yourself in the place of the other
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| | thinking, while at the same time giving
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| person:
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| | due credit to the person who generated
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| The effective communicator has empathy:
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| | the ideas.
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| the capacity to participate in another's
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| | Be willing to change your convictions as
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| thoughts or feelings. Empathy is the
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| | new truths are uncovered:
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| ability to see the world through the
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| | Too many people believe that they have a
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| other person's eyes. It is an attitude, a
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| | "lock" on truth. There is only one way to
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| frame of mind, which has a profound
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| | the top of the mountain, and that is
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| effect on the quality of the
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| | their way. Their own views are obviously
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| communication. Empathy is what helps set
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| | correct, which means that any opposing
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| up the exchange as a living mutual
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| | views are obviously incorrect. One of the
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| relation.
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| | greatest challenges for you as a manager
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| Be "truly present" When engaging in
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| | is to keep an open mind. This does not
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| interpersonal communication, many
| |
| | mean a wishy-washy approach in which you
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| managers appear to be preoccupied with
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| | agree with every opposing view, but it
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| other thoughts. Their body language
| |
| | does mean that you will hear others out
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| conveys the impression that their
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| | and try to understand their views, even
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| thoughts are paying attention on
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| | when the views are contrary to your own.
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| something other than the matter at hand.
| |
| | Perhaps it will turn out to be a
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| Don't be guilty of this type of behavior.
| |
| | significant learning experience; you may
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| Whenever talking with another person,
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| | glean some insights that will help you
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| give that person your undivided
| |
| | strengthen your own views.
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| attention. Even if you have only 10
| |
| | Be willing to confront:
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| minutes to give, give the person 10
| |
| | Conflict is an integral part of life. If
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| minutes of your undivided attention.
| |
| | we are encouraging people to be authentic
|
| Be a good listener:
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| | in expressing their thoughts and
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| It has been estimated that no more than
| |
| | feelings, conflict is inevitable; if we
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| about 10 percent of the general
| |
| | are calling for people to be creative in
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| population might be considered really
| |
| | expressing their own views, conflict is
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| good listeners. That means that about 90
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| | inevitable; and if we are requiring
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| percent of us have room for improvement.
| |
| | people to work in complex and
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| It will be to your credit if you develop
| |
| | ever-changing organizations that have
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| a reputation for being a good listener.
| |
| | competing demands, conflict is
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| Be an active listener and listen with
| |
| | inevitable. Conflict is not something to
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| understanding. Ask good questions.
| |
| | be avoided; rather, it is something to be
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| Paraphrase the key points that the other
| |
| | guided and channeled for productive ends.
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| person has made. Check your perception of
| |
| | Whenever your views differ from those of
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| the person's feelings. Link the elements.
| |
| | others, be willing to confront. This is
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| Achieve unity. These are things that you
| |
| | essential for authentic dialogue.
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| can learn to do. Great effort is
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| | Think win-win:
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| required, but making the effort will
| |
| | When confronting others, there are those
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| surely enhance your effectiveness in
| |
| | who think only in terms of win lose.
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| interpersonal communication.
| |
| | There obviously will be a winner and a
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| Postpone evaluation:
| |
| | loser. This is a basic attitude that has
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| Whenever a new idea is being presented
| |
| | been ingrained over the years. Don't get
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| for consideration, many managers are too
| |
| | trapped in the win-lose mentality.
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| quick on the draw in evaluating the idea.
| |
| | Transcend it! Focus on ends rather than
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| Before they have really understood the
| |
| | means. Ask yourself: In this particular
|
| idea, they judge it to be either good or
| |
| | confrontation, what might be done to
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| bad. Such behavior tends to inhibit
| |
| | assure that both my adversary and I
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| communication and may cause the manager
| |
| | achieve our objectives? How can we both
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| to miss out on some promising ideas.
| |
| | emerge as winners?
|
| Whenever a new idea is being presented to
| |
| |
|
