The Sad and Untimely Demise of Captain Richard Head

Before I went onto full time LTD and SSDI, I hadwheeling a casket through the kitchen (and I
my DREAM job. I was the first female partwasn't as long as the body was embalmed).Now,
owner/VP Human Resources for an Americanthat Friday, as luck would have it, was Halloween.
Ship Repair Yard. We employed over 2,500And, remember this is a rough and tumble,
employees; 24/7 operations; 11 unions, and lots ofgrubby ship repair Yard!! Just years before the
turmoil!!!My agreement with the Managers whoyard would host Halloween parties with an open
fixed ships was simple: I did people; they did bigcasket filled with ice and booze! And, even though
metal "things".It was a rainy Wednesday, end ofwe were kinder and gentler now, I didn't want the
October night - around 8:00 pm. We had a ship inSwing Shift to see a group in the all windowed
for repair with an English Capt., Head, and his wiferoom off of the Cafeteria with an open casket!
aboard (they traveled the world together). TheySo, we purchased and figured out how to hang
were out for a stroll, and, for whatever reason,drapes.Then, I remembered that I needed to find
were walking down the middle of the one waya Priest! Took a while to find one at the last
street leading out of the Ship Repair Yard. 8 pm isminute~ It is finally Friday, around noon. I panic,
"lunch time" for Swing Shift; and, they only get 30remembering that I don't have any appropriate
minutes.A young man working in the Yard for a"funeral Catholic Mass" music to play, and run to
Contractor came tearing out of the yard goingthe nearest Mall's music shop. I ask for funeral
way over the speed limit, trying to drive whilemusic, forgetting, momentarily that it is Halloween,
wiping the windshield. He felt a thud, and stoppedand the clerk tries to sell me the Monster Mash. I
the car - only to discover that he had hit and,explain and get the correct music; get back to
regretably killed - Capt. Head. I got a call at homethe Yard and get the room set up for the
about 3 am to come into the Yard and "deal" withService. Dash home to change clothes; dash back
the situation, since I did "people". I came in, dealtto the Yard, where I remembered that I had to
with the police, the grieving widow, the hospital,pay the Priest for his services!!So, I dash to
etc. Got the widow into a downtown hotel;Accounting and ask for a check made out to the
contacted her family in England and arranged toPriest, and receive the wierdiest looks - until I
get them tickets to fly over to stay with her;remembered that not all folks working in the Yard
went home for a few hours of sleep.Nowknew about the upcoming Memorial Service.Get
remember, the customer is always right. So, theback to the room; all arrive and the Service
next day, Thursday, I met with the family, andbegins. Now, I hope you realize how serious an
the widow wanted to have an open casket, fullevent this is. I had preped the Priest, that the
Catholic Mass, Memorial Service, the next day, inCapt.'s name was Richard Head. But his family
the Yard, so that the Ship's company could saycame from the UK, and they insisted in calling him,
one last good-by to the Capt. I had already pricedthroughout the service by his nickname, Dick. I
caskets, embalming, cremation, etc., and when Iwas horrified when folks in the service put the
started to convey the information to the family,two names together, in "American slang", and
the "Ship's Representative" - our "customer" said:started snickering. Well, we got through the
"They no pay; you pay!"I thought OK, but IService; we had arranged for light food
wonder what Accounting was going to think whenafterwards, and the evening ended, with all
they saw my next month's VISA statementsatisfied.Observations: first of all, I challenge any
wherein I charged a casket, embalming, andother HR Executive to have this type of task to
cremation onto it!!!!!I leave the family; makeperform! Second of all, this is a True Story! Only
arrangements with the Funeral Parlor to preparein an American Ship Repair Yard can you have a
the Capt. for the service the next evening -full Catholic Mass Memorial Service for Capt. Dick
Friday - for a 6 pm service. Now, the only placeHead on Halloween.About DisabilityKey.comThe
within the Yard suitable for the service was a niceDisability Key Website ( ) is designed to assist
room off of our Company Cafeteria. And, theeach person in his/her own unique quest to
only door wide enough to accept a coffin was thenavigate through the difficult and often conflicting
one that would lead the coffin through the kitchen.and misleading information about coping with a
So, I had to call the State Health Dept. to makedisability.
sure that I wasn't violating any health codes by