| For workplace relationships to be effective, there | | | | nudge along the way to get them moving. This is |
| has to be a benefit that both sides achieve, or | | | | great for clarifying your role as a support for their |
| the interaction is always going to be an uphill | | | | chosen actions, as well as providing the |
| challenge, with neither side ultimately fully satisfied. | | | | opportunity for them to self-enable. |
| Indeed there is no overall value when one side | | | | 3. 'I need you to understand' - sounds like trouble? |
| deems themselves to be the 'winner' and the | | | | Maybe. In fact when you are approached to |
| other side goes away empty handed. | | | | understand your people better, this is a great |
| In the one-to-one relationships we have with | | | | moment to savor. |
| every one of our people, it's vital to ensure that | | | | It shows that you are approachable and it shows |
| you as manager achieve the business outcomes | | | | a willingness on the part of your colleague to build |
| you need to deliver. | | | | a better bridge in the relationship between you. |
| On the other hand, the individual on the other side | | | | Of course, it is vital that you pay full attention and |
| of the desk, must go some way to having their | | | | take on board what is said, willingly seeking to |
| needs met too. Often these are needs which are | | | | understand what they want to get across. |
| even more valuable than simply their salary check | | | | 4. 'Please listen to me' - means that they need |
| at the end of the month. | | | | you to appreciate them. It is about them sharing |
| In truth, they need more again to be fully | | | | with you that they feel unheard, so it's a warning |
| motivated and 'turned on' to the relationship that | | | | sign. |
| you have between you. | | | | The important thing here is that they are |
| The Win-Win Scenario can sound a bit like a | | | | prepared to ask, so the relationship is not at rock |
| trade-off for a manager. One where there might | | | | bottom. There is a willingness to partner with you |
| be a hint of 'giving it away'. | | | | - and that's a positive sign for the future. |
| To balance this view a little, let's have a look at | | | | 5. 'I'm bored with working here' - isn't that great! |
| five situations where a manager might feel like | | | | If and when you ever hear this, it can be music |
| they are losing out by giving their employee more | | | | to your ears, because it shows that there is a |
| than they might wish - and then see the positives | | | | desire NOT to be bored. |
| that can accrue from that. | | | | When you are approached in this way, your 'win' |
| 1. 'I need some time' - by offering some time to | | | | is that you have potential there that is not being |
| sit with, listen and support/coach your employee, | | | | fulfilled, so there are options. |
| you are building the relationship, developing trust | | | | This is not a Lose/Win at all, because once you |
| and encouraging them to take ownership of their | | | | switch them on, their value will soar, providing |
| own evolution in their job. | | | | significantly better performance for you and your |
| This does NOT mean you are responsible for their | | | | progress towards your goals too. |
| 'next steps' - you are careful to pass those back | | | | Rarely, where there is a relationship to unfold, will |
| to them - you DO have a role in facilitating their | | | | there be Win/Lose or Lose/Win experiences for |
| choices. | | | | managers who are prepared to grasp the |
| 2. 'I need your help' - could precipitate a groan or | | | | opportunities that jump out at them. |
| two. Yet this is a perfect opportunity to show | | | | The key is to ensure that you are open to the |
| that you aren't a softie, just prepared to suffer | | | | possibilities that make each and every interaction |
| with them. | | | | a 'Win-Win', because it is available to you, if you |
| Asking for help is just that, requiring a gentle | | | | want to make the effort to take it. |