Relationships at Work - Managing Former Peers

Among new and recently appointed managers,refuse to believe that. Because you were friends
undoubtedly the number one issue that comes upbefore, some people will assume they will always
is the challenge of managing people who oncehave an advantage over everyone else.
were peers, or perhaps even friends. Generally,You can attack this issue on two fronts. First,
people's concerns fall into two categories:bring it up with your friend. You can say that
1. Keeping friendships even though the workeven though you have both gone out of your
relationship has changedway to avoid any perception of favouritism,
2. Keeping morale and productivity up as peoplesome people seem determined to imagine it. Ask
adjust to the new situation.the person if he or she has any ideas on how you
First, the friendship issue. It IS possible to continuemight handle it, and you might be surprised at the
to be friends, but never in exactly the same way.insights you get from a different perspective. On
Things can never be the same between you,the other hand, you need to speak with those
because the dynamic that drives your interactionswho believe they are being treated unfairly and
every day has changed, and this is something youget things out in the open. This conversation will
simply have to accept. Now, what about keepingtest your communication skills, as it can also be
up morale and productivity? Remember, thisemotional. But again, it's better to have the
applies not only to one person on your team, butdiscussion than just hope the problem will go
everyone. Here are three action items to helpaway, because it won't.
you set the stage for success by dealing withRemember those days before you were
both issues together.promoted, when you and your colleagues would
First, once again it all comes down totalk about problems at work? Remember how
communication, as so many issues in theeveryone used to vent about what was going on
workplace do. I recommend that very soon afterat any given time? Remember all those "ain't it
you take over your new role, you sit down withawful?" conversations? Well, all that has to stop
your former peer and begin by acknowledgingnow. As a manager, particularly a new one, you
that the situation is uncomfortable for both ofcan't afford to discuss business problems with
you. Tell the person you have always valued theiryour employees. It's too easy for someone to
friendship, and you still do, even though it mustsay something that you must receive in a
now be on a slightly different basis. Ask thedifferent way now that you are representing
person how he or she is feeling about the newmanagement.
relationship, and give them an opportunity toYou are much better off to nurture relationships
express those feelings. Then, ask for the person'swith other people at your level but in other areas
support as you enter your new role. In return,of the company, or even mentors outside the
commit to always holding the other person in ascompany. You can safely use these people as a
high regard as before and respecting his or hersounding board when you have business ideas to
contribution.discuss or problems to solve. I hope I haven't put
This type of discussion has the potential toyou off the whole idea of becoming a manager!
become emotionally fraught, but it must be done,Certainly there's a whole new set of challenges
if for no other reason than to clear the air. Next,facing you now, but solving problems is a major
you need to consider the "optics" of yourmanagement skillset, so you might look on this as
friendship, i.e. the perception others in theone of your first opportunities to sharpen those
department have. Even if you are not giving thisskills.
person any special treatment, sometimes people