Corporate Recreational Mating -- How Prevalent is It? --- A Path to Business Failure

"WOW DENISE, THOSE TIGHT JEANS SUREnow recognized. It is now enforced and business
LOOK GOOD. DO YOU WANT TO SELL THEM?"managers are forced to deal with it. Title VII of
"NO, SWEETIE, BUT YOU CAN RENT THEM FORthe Civil Rights Act of 1964 mandated that every
A LITTLE WHILE."Starting this article with thatworking person has the right to work in an
actual quote and giving other real life examples ofenvironment free from harassment on the basis
the type of interaction that goes on in manyof sex.Wow! What a profound statement. How
offices creates a self imposed need in my minddoes one determine the difference between
to assure you, the reader, that we will beunwanted sexual advances and welcomed sexual
discussing Sexual Harassment in the work placeadvances that later become unwanted. The
later in this article.Recreational mating in the workanswer is, it really doesn't matter. The Equal
place has been going on since organized businessEmployment Opportunities Commission (EEOC)
began. This term, Corporate Recreational Matingdefines sexual harassment as:
as used in this article does not pertain to simpleUnwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual
"office dating" that goes on between two singlefavors and other verbal or physical conduct of a
adults that happen to work at the same place ofsexual nature when:- A term or condition of
business.What we are going to discuss in thisemployment is explicitly or implicitly made
article is the type of recreational mating that hasregarding submission to a request for sexual
an impact on the performance of the businessfavor.- Rejection or refusal to submit sexual favor
itself. Most of this type of recreation takes placeis used as a basis for an employment decision.-
among members of upper management and aSuch conduct has the purpose or effect to
high percentage of it is illicit. In other words, oneinterfere with an individuals work performance or
or both of the participants are married and not tocreates a hostile, intimidating environment.There
each other.are actually two kinds of sexual harassment:1.
This is a situation that exists in manyQuid Pro Quo:Where employment decisions or
corporations, it's rarely reported, often ignoredexpectations are based on an employees
and in spite of the participants attempts atwillingness to grant or deny sexual favors. (hiring
secrecy, it is often a well traveled rumor, if not adecisions, shift schedules, salary increases etc.)
fact.In their January 2003 issue, Stuff MagazineExample:- Sexual favors demanded in exchange
reported on a survey done with 3000 participantsfor promotion- Terminating a subordinate because
revealing what goes on within the officethey ended a relationship- Changing job
walls."THEY'VE TURNED BOARDROOMS INTOperformance expectations after subordinate
BEDROOMS, GIVING A WHOLE NEW SPIN ONrefuses sexual advances.2. Hostile
SPREADSHEETS."Before going on I should prefaceEnvironment:Where verbal or nonverbal behavior
my remarks by admitting that I am definitely ain the workplace Focuses on sexuality of a
card carrying member of the "Baby Boomers".person, Is unwanted, Is severe or pervasive
Being more honest I have to admit that duringenough to affect the persons work
the early years of my career, the 70's, Ienvironment.Example:- Off color jokes or teasing-
undoubtedly could have been classified as a maleComments about body parts or sex life-
chauvinistic pig. I could have qualified as posterSuggestive pictures or calendars or cartoons-
child for the official "Male Chauvinistic Pig"Suggestive e-mails or forwarded jokes and
movement. However, experience has taught mepictures.- Leering or staring- Repeated requests
a very important lesson regarding leadership andfor dates after being told no- Excessive attention
it's personal relationship with employeesI nowin the form of love letters, telephone calls or
have a much greater appreciation for the abilities,gifts- Touching-brushing against, pats, hugs,
the intelligence, and the value of femaleshoulder rubs or pinches- Assault or rapeThe basis
employees. Today, I firmly believe women in theor foundation to sexual harassment is defined as
workplace are the most under utilized asset thisbeing unwelcome, unwanted or unsolicited conduct
country has. We have made a lot of progress inthat is imposed on a person who regards such
the last two decades but we have a long way toconduct as offensive. That is sexual harassment.
go."STUFF" magazine survey of 3000 participantsWhen a person communicates that the conduct is
revealed that 51% confessed to office affairs.unwelcome then it becomes illegal to repeat it.
Out of them, 71% slept with one to threeThis is true even if the conduct is disguised as
partners other than their spouse or significantinnuendos or subtle inferences, it is unlawful.Sexual
other. Sixty percent admitted to actually havingharassment is not an expression of sexual desire.
sex in the office with the following locationsIt is plainly an inappropriate use of power. Subtle
noted.- Bathroom ..................... 24%- Reception Areainfringements are the most common and the
............... 6%- Conference Table ............22%- Boss'smost difficult to detect and prove. Yet, they are
Desk ..................20%- Photo Copier .................. 6%- Parkingequally damaging and just as illegal as an open
Lot.....................15%Other magazines have reportedforward sexual advance.Sexual harassment that
varying degrees of the same survey. One welloccurs during the corporate mating process is a
read woman's magazine reported 53% of theform of indirect harassment. If an equally qualified
males surveyed admitted to extra marital affairsperson is passed over for promotion because the
while 23% of the women surveyed admitted theboss is sleeping with the person he promotes
same. The office is the most likely place to meetthen that person has been illegally discriminated
someone since you spend more than 50% ofagainst due to indirect sexual harassment. This
your waking hours there. That statistic is mindsituation occurs quite frequently but is rarely
boggling. It would suggest that the next time youreported. Unchecked sexual harassment can also
attend a business meeting and look around thehave other subtle consequences. People witnessing
room, chances are that more than half but lessthe harassment may feel the same loss or
than 75% of the mixed crowd is having or hasdamage. Harassment that is ignored or denied can
had an extra marital affair...This sounds like acause overall morale to deteriorate. Productivity
chauvinistic sexist commentary. It probably iswill suffer and expose the organization to potential
although it's not meant to be. The comments andlitigation.EEOC GuidelinesThe Federal Equal
actual quotes are not meant to give theEmployment Opportunities Commission has issued
impression that all women in the work force areguidelines on sexual harassment under Title VII of
having sex with their co-workers or bosses. It isthe 1964 Civil Rights Act. The guidelines, Section
not meant to imply that most women are under1604.11 (29 cfr Article XIV, part 1604) are listed
the influence of the "Cleopatra Inheritance" andbelow.
use their Feminine Qualities like the individual in theSection A:Harassment on the basis of sex is a
following quote."I KNOW HOW TO USE ALL MYviolation of sc. 703 of Title VII. Unwelcome sexual
ASSETS," SHE REPLIED AS SHE PLACED HERadvances, requests for sexual favors, and other
HANDS STRATEGICALLY ON HER CHEST.Let meverbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature
state that it is an uncontested fact that theconstitutes sexual harassment(1) submission to
majority of females work very hard in the officesuch conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a
and are dedicated wives. They keep their nose toterm or condition of an individuals employment,
the grind stone and they too are also disgusted(2) submission too or rejection of such conduct
by the minority of women that use their sexualby an individual is used as the basis for
prowess to advance their careers."Cleopatraemployment decisions affecting such individual, or
Inheritance"The "Cleopatra Inheritance" is a force(3) such conduct has the purpose or effect of
so powerful that it can topple nations. Look at theunreasonably interfering with an individuals work
publicity our former president Bill Clinton receivedperformance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or
regarding his relationships with a number ofoffensive working environment.Section B:In
women. Not every woman is subject to be thedetermining whether alleged conduct constitutes
recipient of this phenomenon. And not everysexual harassment, the Commission will look at
woman that does inherit this power recognize it.the record as a whole and at the totality of
Most of those that do recognize it don't abuse it.circumstances, such as the nature of the sexual
But there is a minority of women that recognizeadvances, and the context in which the alleged
this power they have over men at a very earlyincidents occurred. The determination of the
age and begin using it. This power can bring thelegality of a particular action will be made from
strongest man to his knees, fill his eyes withthe facts, on a case by case basis.Section
tears and make him do just about anything sheC:Applying general Title VII principles, an employer,
wishes. There are a few women who haveemployment agency joint apprenticeship
perfected this power. They have it under controlcommittee or labor organization (herein collectively
and use it to advance their careers.Womenreferred to as employer) is responsible for its
utilizing the "Cleopatra Inheritance" are very clever.acts and those of its agents and supervisory
They are not the "Sexy Dumb Blondes"personnel with respect to sexual harassment,
characterized by the brunt of many of man'sregardless of whether the employer knew or
chauvinistic jokes.Women who use theirshould have known of their occurrence. The
inheritance to advance their careers focus clearlyCommission will examine the circumstance of the
on their objectives. They are blondes, brunettes,particular employment relationship and the job
red heads and every other hair style imaginable.functions performed by the individual in
In other words, it has nothing to do with their hairdetermining whether an individual acts in either a
coloring. They know what they want and they gosupervisory or agency capacity.Section D:With
after it. Men are weak in their defense whenrespect to conduct between fellow employees, an
faced with this inheritance. Its power isemployer is responsible for acts of sexual
overwhelming and consuming. Fortunately, womenharassment in the workplace where the
who use this power are in the minority, a muchemployer, its agents or supervisory personnel
smaller number than their chauvinistic counterpartsknow or should have known of the conduct,
of the male population in the work place."Twounless it can show that it took immediate and
years prior to becoming CFO she was a payrollappropriate corrective action.Section E:An
clerk in the accounting department. She had noemployer may also be responsible for the acts of
degree and a limited knowledge of accounting.non employees, with respect to sexual
Today she is CFO of a $500 million dollarharassment of employees in the workplace, if the
company making a six-figure income."The successemployer knows or should have known of the
of this individual can't be traced to her academicconduct and fails to take immediate and
credentials, she has none. It can't be traced to herappropriate corrective action. In reviewing these
experience, she was a payroll clerk. But it can becases, the Commission will consider the extent of
traced to her personal relationship with thethe employers control and any other legal
president and her knowledge, control and use ofresponsibility which the employer may have with
the "Cleopatra Inheritance" factor.Control is a veryrespect to the conduct of such non
critical factor. Love is generally not an acceptableemployee.Section F:Prevention is the best tool for
alternative. Love complicates things and is rarelythe elimination of sexual harassment. An employer
involved in this career enhancing experience. Whenshould take all steps necessary to prevent sexual
the male does fall victim to this process, falls inharassment from occurring, such as affirmatively
love and may even want to leave his wife, theraising the subject, expressing strong disapproval,
female panics. Love challenges her control of thedeveloping appropriate sanctions, informing
situation. This is a typical response to the earlyemployees of their right to raise and how to raise
warning signs from the victim that thoughts ofthe issue of harassment under Title VII and
love have entered his psychic.developing methods to sensitize all
Please forgive me if it sounds like I am trying toconcerned.Section G:Other related practices,
make the man the victim here. There are manywhere employment opportunities or benefits are
more incidents where the male utilizes the powergranted because of an individuals submission to
of his position to influence and intimidate thethe employers sexual advances or requests for
female to get what he wants as well. That's calledsexual favors, the employer may be held liable for
sexual harassment which we will discuss in detail inunlawful sex discrimination against other persons
this article.The Internet provides a lot of statisticswho were qualified for but denied that
and information regarding corporate recreationalemployment opportunity or benefit.Handling
mating. Much of this insight is provided by theComplaintsHandling complaints is not easy.
victims who are generally hurt in the process, theKnowing what to say and what to do isn't taught
other spouse.**********in Management 101. Sexual harassment isn't your
"Two months ago I found out that my husbandordinary everyday problem. The first thing you
had an affair with a secretary in his office. Shemust do is listen intently. Assure them that you
got pregnant and had my husband's child who isare taking them seriously because it is a serious
now two years old. I can't forgive or forget thismatter. Express no opinion, just listen and take
horrible thing. We have been married twentynotes. Do not be biased. Encourage them to give
years. He knew from the beginning that the childspecific details. It is very important that you ask
was his and he never told me. His girlfriend calledthem specifically how they reacted,
me and told me all about it. I can't go on in thiscommunicated the fact that this action was
marriage because I don't trust him."**********unacceptable.The next step is to interview the
"I'm twenty eight years old. My wife and I havealleged offender. He or she has the right to hear
been married for almost six years. We are bothand respond to the accusations. Be sure to
Christians. We don't have children. I came homeconduct the interview in the same,
from work one day to find a message that said,straightforward, unbiased manner you did when
"I have to go away and think." I knew what wasyou talked to the person who filed the complaint.
going on. It was the guy from her work. She wasIf no resolution or conclusion is made and the
having an affair. I caught them in the parking lotoffender denies the behavior or has a variation of
at work kissing. She claimed it was a thank youthe story, you will need to go to the next
kiss for a favor he had done. I knew that wasstep.Inform your corporate attorney and seek his
crap. I actually tried to be friends with him. Justadvice. With your attorney's approval, initiate an
before she left to be with him, we all spent theinvestigation and be prepared to monitor the
weekend together boating. What a fool I was.workplace to ensure that the harassment stops.
She's with him now."Casual encounters that sproutIt's your responsibility to protect the person who
into full blown office romances are not uncommonfiled the complaint. You may want to take steps
given the amount of time we spend at work.to keep the two parties involved apart
Offices provide a safe haven and many of thetemporarily by reassigning one or the other until
necessary components for a connection, even anthe matter is resolved.As you conduct the
illicit one. Many employers fear that workplaceinvestigation, be as discreet as possible; only
romances cut productivity, result in officeinterview individuals who may have relevant
jealousies and unnecessary distractions. But, whatinformation. Enlist any organization resources that
do you do if it's the boss or other executivemay help or support your investigation; review
management personnel involved in this type ofthe appropriate records before you actually
office affairs?There's not much you can do if youinterview any employees about the incident. You
want to remain employed. Executives that havemay find valuable information to direct the
affairs with married colleagues display moronicinvestigation, or even bring the investigation to a
behavior. It does affect their work and no matterconclusion. The final step in the investigative
how secretive they think they are, they willprocess is to interview anyone who may have
eventually be exposed. These executives becomeinformation or insights on what took place.If you
known as players, bottom feeders with noconduct a thorough investigation and still don't
morals. It's a combination of the power of thehave enough facts to draw a conclusion, you may
Cleopatra Inheritance Syndrome and their ownfind it appropriate to try bringing the two parties
self indulgent egos that controls these individuals.together to determine what really happened. This
It may also be their power and initiative aloneoption should only be arranged if both parties
taking advantage of younger female employeesagree to meet. This type of meeting can be very
that need their job desperately.Things that oftendelicate and should be approached with a great
occur without the knowledge of the participantsdeal of thought and planning.Once you have
include them becoming the brunt of many officegathered and analyzed all the information and
jokes and rumors. They may become cartoonconcluded that the incident did, in fact, occur,
characters and laughed at in the lunch room. Theirconsult your organization's policy, review the case
e-mails, cell phones and other means ofwith your legal council and take disciplinary action.
communication may one day prove to be thereBe prepared to fully explain the results of your
down fall no matter how careful they think theyinvestigation and the action that will be taken.
have been. Sometimes conflicts becomeExplain to the harasser that he or she has the
public."Are those reports ready Jennifer?" "No,right to appeal the decision to a higher level. Lead
James, I was with you all night trying out most ofWolf leaders recognize the devastating effect
the Kama Sutra positions."Public displays ofthat corporate recreational mating can have on
bickering and arguments between these individualsthe performance of the business. More
regardless of their rank in the hierarchy isimportantly, they recognize the devastating effect
common place. This type of public arguingit can have.Dr. Rick Johnson () is the founder of
heightens the sensitivity of everyone in the officeCEO Strategist LLC. an experienced based firm
to what may or may not be going on. It brings tospecializing in leadership for wholesale distribution.
the forefront inequities in the power structure.CEO Strategist LLC. works in an advisory capacity
People resent the attention, the special treatmentwith company executives in board representation,
and the fact that she or he can get away withexecutive coaching, team coaching and education
murder while everyone else tows the line.and training to make the changes necessary to
Agreement between the two on any topic carriescreate or maintain competitive advantage. You
no validity. The conclusion is that they are acan contact them by calling 352-750-0868, or visit
couple so they have no reason not to agree.for more information.Rick received an MBA from
Security leaks are the most risk to the companyKeller Graduate School in Chicago, Illinois and a
in these situations. It's amazing what everyoneBachelor's degree in Operations Management from
reveals beneath the sheets. There is noCapital University, Columbus Ohio. Rick recently
confidentiality confinement in an illicit relationshipcompleted his dissertation on Strategic Leadership
between boss and employee. That brings us toand received his Ph.D. He's also a published book
the concluding topic for this article.SEXUALauthor with four titles to his credit: "The Toolkit
HARRASSMENTWith all this office romance ,for Improved Business Performance in
corporate mating and illicit relationships occurring,Distribution," the NWFA & NAFCD "Roadmap",
what constitutes sexual harassment? SexualLone Wolf-Lead Wolf-The Evolution of Sales" and
harassment has existed since business began. Thea fiction novel "Shattered Innocence.
difference today in the 21st century is that it is